Category: the Rant Board
Hey all. I was very angry and saddened today. This guy I met on a single's group on facebook sent me a message asking for pictures of my legs. I explained to him I was blind and could not take good pictures using the camera on my iphone. He proceeded to tell me to try anyway. I tried twice only succeeding to get a picture of my forhead, and the seat on the bus I was sitting in. When he found out I was blind he said "Fuck this I am not going to date a blind chick. I don't care if I hurt your feelings I don't have time to deal with this shit. Fuck you." I am speechless. Am I wrong to be upset?
All this over not getting pictures of my legs.
Wow please write back.
I responded by saying sorry for disturbing you goodbye then why did you message me? He didn't answer after that. After I said you have hurt me beyond all repair, he responded tough shit. I declined his facebook request, and we have not talked since.
At least I handle it like a lady. I still have my self worth and dignity. I allowed my inner consciousness to guide me, and I didn't loose my temper.
Of course, you have every right to be upset. Fuck him though, he's not worth your time. If he's going to get frustrated so easily, he's not worth it.
I'm going to be the big bad wolf and make all the enemies here, but fuck it. Yes, I think the guy did you wrong, but it might just be carmic debt. Look at how many guys you've pretended to be interested in, and then blocked them, with no explanation. I've seen it here and I've seen it on Facebook. You can't keep treating people that way and then never expect it to ever come back home to you. Might want to think about that.
Lol, how do you try and take a pic of your legs and get your head? The seat, I can understand.
I don't think you're wrong to be upset. This guy sounds like a jerk. He was an ass to react to your blindness in that way. However, he also sounds like a creep. If some guy asked for pictures of my legs, especially before getting to know me in any other way, that'd be an instant turn-off, and creep warning. So, while he may have been wrong to be that much of a jerk, I highly doubt you're missing out on anything whatsoever. As an aside, I too am wondering how in the world you got a picture of your forehead while trying to capture one of your legs?
That one is pretty obvious. It once happened to me. I was trying to take a pic of my own face, and I think it was Camfind that I was using at the time kept saying Brown sandals. I was using the wrong camera.
Sounds like you'd have been justified in sending him a rude reply, and certainly I understand why you'd be angry and hurt. But someone you don't know and haven't invested any time or emotion with isn't worth getting too burned up over. he's unquestionably a jerk, and you're better off not wasting another second on him.
People are cruel, and the setup of online dating sites makes it easy for them to be so, and not think of the person on the other end of the computer as human beings who deserve to be treated with a little decency. Perils of modern life, I'm afraid. You have to have a thick skin to cope with it.
He really only proves his jerkiness by being in a blind singles group and saying he can't be bothered dating a blind person. I bet I even know who it is. In another group, he told one lady that at least when he got a date, he'd be able to see her when he fucked her. This particular guy was in a wheelchair, so yeah.
Anthony, let me give you a round of applause. She has treated guys this way in person as well. Play with people and you will be played with. Sorry but that's life.
Yes, the wrong camera. Smile. Easy mistake.
I don't think I'd be sending pictures of my legs to anyone until I talked to them for a while.
My fave, upper body, sure, but not my legs specificly.
He's just wanting to get off.
I personally wouldn't be upset. It is the internet dating, and people are strange, so.
It is silly to contact a blind girl, then say you aren't interested, don't you think?
Why get upset over weird people?
The rest, I'll let the pros deal with.
I'm not sure of your motivation, but I've seen that too. Smile.
Oh, I missed the bit about it being a blind singles group! Ha!
No, I wouldn't send pics of parts of my body, either. Of course it's a given that sex is part of the deal, at some point, but if a guy was too focused on that from the start, it would be a turn off, for me. I'm cautious.
I totally agree. A description, and a regular picture, provided he could see, would be enough. Specific parts of my body no.
I'm male and I'd not send a woman specific parts of me. If she's that interested in me, lets met. Smile.
um yeah. someone asks for those kinds of pics, I just consign them to the trash of the internet and move the fuck on.
I don't even respond.
Damnit, that's just awful and pathetic and sick of him. You have every right to be upset; what he did was disrespectful, disgusting, rude and a whole bunch of other negative adjectives. "Tough shit" - really? I'm disgusted on your behalf.
GrayWaves, I love your username. *smile*
Afraid I must agree with Anthony's comments In post 3. Sometimes carma isn't nice. Sure it was wrong, but something to consider in the future, perhaps when dealing with people yourself. Sorry if that seems harsh, but sometimes the truth just is that way.
Ah, but she didn't get mad until he was angry she couldn't send him her leg pics.
If she been successful and not sent him her forhead. Lol
You can't get mad when you were perfectly happy to play it seems to me. You have to just say, well, that one didn't work.
I wonder if she'd been successful, would she have posted this board?
Listen to your phone, it tells you what cam you are using. Smile.
He rejected her, just as she's rejected so many others. At least he gave her a real reason.
why would you send pictures like that to someone you don't know? Sounds like that guy is
closed minded. Just toss him in the trash like the trash he is and move on.
Aha, thanks for that explanation, Anthony. It makes sense now that you say it, but using the wrong camera didn't even occur to me.
Ok. so look. if you're really even contemplating sending someone pics of your legs before you even have a few good conversations with them, you're pretty desperate to find someone to date. If you actually go and do it, on a bus no less... um. you're as desperate as he's a jerk. So you kind of got what you asked for, if you ask me.
Desperate girl sees right past red flags and caters to the requests of a possible jerk,
Therefore, jerk sweeps proverbial floor with desperate girl.
That's all. Next time, don't send anyone pics of your legs unless you know them well.
Why invest so much mental anguish on allowing yourself to be deeply hurt by someone you dont' even know. that just gives him more fodder for mockery. You say you were dignified when you told him he hurt you beyond repair; not only was that a loss in dignity on your part, but you already degraded yourself, became less dignified, when you catered to someone's jerk-off whims. lol. If you have more self-worth, you won't be so ready to snap a shot of your legs, or attempt to do so, on a bus no less. haha.
Best of luck to you.
Okay... so he's a creep and you should've spotted that when he asked you to take pictures of your legs. If that were me, I'd never take pictures of anything. The blind shit? He's trash so just make him disapeear. but, Jess, if someone asks you to take pictures of your legs or something um, private, don't do it. It might seem right but it's not.
Could miss her aim and snap up her dress too. Smile. She can't view the picture to see if it is correct.
Be ware of attracting creeps. He did you a favor actually.
did he?
Yes, now she knows who to avoid.
Sometimes oneself is the worst enemy. It sounds like that's exactly what happened here.
If you already have such a low self-esteem that you wanted to take a picture of your legs for a guy you don't know from Adam, I'm sorry, but you got what came to you. Maybe you'll learn from this experience and in turn think about how you treat others as well.
The freak alert would have gone off the second someone asked me for a pic of any body parts.
I'll be a bad wolf here too.
It's totally creepy for a man to ask for pictures of a woman, but if a woman asks for income status from a man (what do you do? how much do you make?) It's a-OK.
I know someone out here who experiments with dating sites, not actually making relationships but just profiles etc. and has given us some interesting results. Not just the responses he gets, but how accepted it all is.
One other thing nobody has said here either: How does that poor fool asking for leg shots know he's getting a pic of her actual legs? She could have just gotten a shot of someone else's and sent that. It's the Internet, you can't trust what you're getting.
Guess I'm a creep too, in that I don't think I could go to a personals place and start conversing via text, without ever hearing her voice.
The only way you'd know you were connecting and either seeing or hearing the person would be via Skype.
Wouldn't blame a woman for sending a leg shot of a table leg ... just as I would do what my friend does, and claim I work at the local deli counter or something. He's gotten a lot of "eeww" and similar responses when replying he worked at a low-end job.
Beauty may fade, and that's all trendy to talk about. But so do more hypergomous aspects to oneself. We who are employed are a single gunshot, car accident, or company decision away from being in the masses of unemployed. So that is just as shallow as the leg shots. Not trendy to say it, but true.
Anthony I'm genuinely curious how the gays work that one out. I imagine without the heteronormative constraints you guys probably don't have provider/provide rituals to contend with. Because rituals they are, no more and no less.
Hmmm, leg shots sounds like what you get when somebody spills a drink on you. Let's all do some leg shots! *splash*
Just to be clear, leo, I personally feel that if a woman, or even a man for that matter, if anyone has the audacity to ask another person of their income status as a criteria for dating them, they are just as creepy and or crappy. And I don't think, nowadays, it's just the chicks asking about income status, though I certainly can see why you'd emphasize them over guys. Chicks who ask about income status deserve to get just as badly played as the guy with the leg shot request, lol. And anyone who plays into their requests is no better in my book. Just my oppinion though. Get off the dating sites and get a job yourself, girlfriend, is what I'd say to the gold digger who'd have the interest in income right off the bat.
Ah, but men don't mind it, and if they have a good income will brag about it.
I always say I panhandle for a living.
Guys in profiles post what type job they have.
Some pictures of their cars, house,m and such.
They understand the better off you appear, the more dates you'll get.
House could be rented, or just a picture.
You could be just test driving that new Mercedes, or renting the nice car.
But put it in your profile and you've got more women to choose from.
Somewhat off topic, sorry: Eh, I'm not crazy about this idea that karma means she got what's coming to her. I think most of us would love to believe that there is some kind of universal justice we can't see or control. It's comforting to think that the people who treat us badly will get it back in spades. Doesn't make logical sense, though, and the amount of bad deeds going unpunished and good ones going punished suggests that karma is a damn unreliable force. All this to say that, while her decision to mess with people is a bad one, I don't think it's fair to say she got what's coming to her, unless the guy who rejected her was one she'd messed with, of course. I've seen countless people claim someone "had what was coming" to them, or that they "deserved" misfortune...but unless that misfortune was directly tied to the original action (EG: if you screw with a particular persons' emotions, they will probably screw with yours) it's not fair to say we deserve either our blessings or our misfortunes.
I don't believe in payback either.
That was why I said I'd leave that to the pros.
I honestly think people need to get a realistic grasp on what dating and relating with others actually is.
People lie. People love attenchen for a short time, so say what they need to say to get it.
The thing is, if you play that game and it does happen back, you can't really complain it is happening to you, but playing that game doesn't mean you shouldn't expect to find a good relationship because you were playing before.
I'm aware of emotions and what happens, but I tend to take a wide view on it.
Yes, even if what goes around doesn't come around, if you play a game, you need to understand that someone will come along who can play the same game as well or even better than you can, so it's in your own best interest to accept that there might be consequences. This is why I love it when players get played. Oh how they scream and cry.
WriteAway, it's not only unemployed women who specify income requirements in their personals ads. Both men and women often put in that they are only after a person with a job, a house, a car.
I'm not looking, and seeing that depresses me!
It comes off as shallow, maybe, but it's the person's lifestyle you're getting, with the person, so why not be up front about what you're seeking, rather than waste the time of a bunch of people who won't make the grade? Isn't it similar to specifying particular physical characteristics? Part of what is sought after is stability, and that's proof of it.
Of course we'd all like to believe that one attracts with only one's personality and good heart, but that isn't usually the case. Some of this depends on the age of the people in question, too.
Yes Anthony, players will get played. I don't exactly believe in cosmic justice or whatever people call it but it is still a fact that sooner or later, we all get what we deserve.
I agree with Antony. If you play around you're bound to get paid back sooner or later. That being said I do agree that this guy was still a jerk to say the least.
I don't think he's a jerk. He's just asking for what he wants for his pleasure.
Nothing wrong with that.
But, if you agree and give it to him, you can't complain because the game didn't work like you wanted it to.
If you send your legs, you are in the game.
He gets off and that is all.
Now forheads are different. Lol